i didn't vote in the elections yesterday. i wasn't even sure if i could vote. this is not a good thing. it is time for me to get involved in the world outside my window or rather the world 23 floors below my window (minus floors 4, 13 and 14). i love vancouver. i consider myself extremely lucky to have somehow ended up here. there are a few issues that need addressing here though. the number one problem with vancouver is the downtown eastside. and its not because i give a rats ass about the tourists finding it "scary".
oh crap i have to go. this will have to wait.
9:11 a.m. - November 17, 2002
i�ve done a lot of kissing. i like kissing. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. the best kisses i�ve ever had are the ones the coolest guy and i shared every thursday afternoon, all through the winter of 1991, on his college room bed. we would kiss for hours and i would end up walking home from his place dizzy and dazed. i think that perhaps those kisses were so good because we didn�t have sex that winter (at least not with each other) so there were overwhelming amounts of sexual longing involved, and because we weren�t even supposed to be kissing since, at that time, we were busy keeping up the pretence to ourselves and everyone else that we were JUST GOOD FRIENDS. so anyway, the other day i watched that perfectly dreadful movie �never been kissed� and it made me wonder if our kisses had stood the test of time. it didn�t take long for me to work out the answer to this since i guess we kiss quite frequently. anyway, i�m happy to report that my heart still skips a beat when he presses his lips against mine. i am so very glad about this. ps he really is a good kisser. for a small fee i'll let you see for yourself :)
3:40 p.m. - November 15, 2002
americans pronounce it eee-mooo but in england we call it an eem-you. i like our way better.
3:01 p.m. - November 15, 2002
i think that keyboards should have the numerical pad on the left hand side. that way, when i'm typing in id numbers i wouldn't have to let go of my mouse. the mouse feels comfortable in my hand. even when i am not using the keyboard i rest my hand on the mouse. my hand feels cold without it.
2:43 p.m. - November 15, 2002
its 1.22 pm which means i have exactly 3 hours and 8 minutes to kill before i get out of here. the liz has already gone for the day so i have no one to idle around with. i do have work to do but it the kind of stuff that would take me hours and hours (because i would be forced to take twenty minute anti-mindnumbing breaks every 2 minutes) unless someone actually asked me if i�d finished it and then it would take me about 15 minutes. so i'm kind of waiting for someone to mention it.
i have this �thing� where i think everyone hates me. i realize that�s a little paranoid of me and i also see that its kind of self-centred to imagine that everyone has an opinion of me, good or bad, but still i can�t help feeling that i�m not really a likeable person. i can't not say what i think even if what i'm thinking is probably not what someone wants to hear, i often talk too much about myself because i'm worried that i will offend other people by asking them too many questions about themselves and i'm somewhat awkward with strangers mainly because i think they are going to hate me :) (this isn�t a �poor me� entry btw). anyway, today the people we had drinks and dinner with last weekend have invited us over to their place. this makes me think that maybe people don�t always dislike me as much as i think they do.
1:39 p.m. - November 15, 2002
when i was young i overheard my parents arguing. my mum was shouting at my dad and accusing him of not loving me as much as my sister. i was not very close to my dad until i left home at 18 and then very slowly we started to get to know each other. about a year ago he started saying �love you� before he put the phone down after our weekly transatlantic chats. the truth is, i never saw it as a competition but i�ve always secretly thought that he loved me the most.
11:57 a.m. - November 15, 2002
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