i�m so tired. i would give anything to be curled up in my bed at home right now. instead, i am sitting here in my office slouched so low in my chair that there is a significant chance that at any moment i will slide forward and end up in a squashed pile under my desk. i do not have the energy to remedy this situation. i think it might be due to an overkill of the exercise but that doesn�t mean i won�t be going to my �sculpt and stretch� class after work tonight. however, i am hoping that the focus will be more on the stretching than the sculpting (fat chance�no pun intended). the other thing that i am doing tonight is going ker-lubbing with the liz. its been forever since we had a good 3 hour non stop boogie at the luvaffair brit night. i�m guessing that however zonked (did i just make that word up?) i feel right now, i�m going to feel at least 27.53 times as zonked tomorrow�.which would be fine if i could just go home and crash straight after work but i can�t because tomorrow night i have a date (dinner and a movie) with the pretty ballerina. in light of all this i am setting aside the whole weekend for sleeping.
1:56 p.m. - November 14, 2002
i�m in love, head over heels in love. and, for the first time in my life, i want to get married. in normal circumstances this would be wonderful. in my circumstances it�s kind of awkward because i am already married. the good news is that i am already married to the guy i am in love with. so, last night i proposed. and he said yes to the notion of us renewing our vows on our fifth wedding anniversary. this makes me very happy. however i still feel sad that i can never have a real wedding with all my friends and family there to see my happiness and love for the coolest guy. i fucked up and there is nothing i can do to un-fuck-it-up.
10:45 a.m. - November 14, 2002
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