i handed over a 5 dollar note and the woman dropped 5 golden bullets into my open palm. i hadn't quite expected this and i stared at the bullets for a few seconds before turning to the rack of guns from which i had already chosen an M16 rifle. i had never seen a bullet close up before. they were bigger than i expected. no one spoke english. a man in a uniform barked at me and i went to take the gun. i fired the first shot. i didn't even take aim. i just focused on actually pulling the trigger. the first shot made me a little giddy. the second shot was very quickly followed by the third because i accidently fired twice in my nervousness. when my bullets were gone i handed back the rifle and watched the CG with his AK47. then i looked around and realised that some of us had forgotten to put on the sound mufflers and others were wandering around willy nilly despite the complete lack of safety. i was shaking when i walked away from the firing range.
i'm reading a book called novel without a name by duong thu huong. i've read a fair few books from the american perspective of the war. it seems only fair to have some balance. it's strange to know that i have wandered through the jungle and fields where the people in my books once walked and often died. and that i have held a dodgy old rifle that probably belonged to someone who didn't make it home.
3:48 p.m. - January 03, 2004
the CG has ordered a cable so that we can hook-up the computer to our stereo amp. if anyone knows of any online radio shows that are worth listening to let me know.
i'm back at work on monday. i'd really rather not start with all that having to do work stuff again.
11:28 a.m. - January 03, 2004
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