for the last couple of days i've been consoling myself for being pregless. i've eaten a large muffin (and not just the top like i usually do if i just have to have a muffin), a bar of chocolate (i never buy bars of chocolate..i don't even like it that much), 4 glasses of wine, about 57 fully caffeinated cups of tea, 2 cookies (which tasted like someone had used a 5lb bag of sugar in the each one) and a whole bag of cheesy puffs. in the space of 48 hours my body has gone from a temple to ramshackle shed. on the bright side, i am looking physically fitter and things are no longer jiggling about any more than they should be doing for someone my age. i should still quit eating the empty calories though.
9:27 a.m. - June 23, 2006
i've strained the arch of my left foot but i refuse to stop going to the gym so i spent 40 minutes pedaling the bike this morning instead of running. my foot is pretty painful. i can't wear any kind of heels because it hurts too much which sucks because i barely own any flat shoes and none of them look good with work wear.
the cg and i are often referred to as the "honeymooners" at my work. it's a silly name but it's probably more apt now than ever before. i had a dream last night that the cg met someone else and he was going to leave me. for the record, she was called natalie. i have these kind of dreams once in a while and they usually leave me feeling so painful inside that i want to wake the cg up and make him tell me it's all ok. today, i didn't feel the need to wake him. instead i just lay there in the bed and watched him for a while and just knew that he loved me and always would. it felt good.
(it took us 17 years to get to this point but it was worth it.)
2:32 p.m. - June 22, 2006
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