the CG is away on business tonight so i've got the place to myself. for 30 years i did absolutely no cooking (providing putting a potato covered in pasta sauce out of a jar in the microwave doesn't count), then 4 months ago (belatedly following a new years resolution) i started cooking relatively healthy and extremely yummy (if i do say so myself) meals every day. the CG has only been absent for a few hours and my nutritional intake has already taken a steep nose-dive. my dinner this evening consisted of 2 almond pastries and a small tub of sour cream potato salad. hmm.
i called dee dee earlier. one thing you may or may not know about me is that i'm bad at making phone calls. i don't mean that i forget to make them or that i have yet to master the art of pressing phone keys. my problem is that i'm just not that comfortable talking to a voice without a body attached to it. this is just one of the many irrational things that make me so lovable. anyway, we ended up talking for about an hour, so maybe i'm becoming more rational in my old age. which reminds me, i actually got in the car and drove it yesterday. the fact that i only drove it from our car parking space to the entrance of our car park is irrelevent (btw our car park is fucking enormous). the point is that i decided i wanted to drive and just did it. wouldn't it be nice if i was finally growing up and shaking off the insanity!
the CG has just called to say goodnight to me and to remind me to "starfish" in the bed while i have the chance. (for those who have no idea what i'm talking about i just want to assure you that starfishing is nothing kinky. for those who wanted it to be something kinky i'm sorry for letting you down.)
9:46 p.m. - September 29, 2003
i've just been chatting with the pretty ballerina and it seems that only a few weeks after the departure of dee dee, i will also have to say goodbye to the PB who has decided to abandon the sinking ship and take a job elsewhere. i'm very happy for her, honestly i am, i just feel very bad for me. because of course its all about ME. i guess the insecurity and the what-the-fuck-am-i-doing-here-ness that i've been feeling since i got back from england gets worse everytime i lose more of the things that are familiar to me. i really don't know what to do about this icky feeling i've stepped in. answers on a postcard please. please.
11:23 a.m. - September 29, 2003
"Bollywood is an alternate universe where musicals rule supreme, and in that universe, DIL SE is king. The first Indian movie to break into the UK's box office top ten, Mani Ratnam's tale of love in a time of terrorism jerks your tears with an iron fist. Its story hardly sounds like promising musical material, however: a journalist doing a puff piece on India's 50 Years of Independence falls in love with a suicide bomber on the eve of her final mission. Try dancing to that. But DIL SE does. "
i finally got to see the movie dil se after hearing so much about it from the CG who went to see it (with a couple of dutch girls if i remember rightly) when he was travelling around india. he saw it without subtitles but luckily i got it easier. it was an excellent movie. well worth the wait. i've been listening to the dil se soundtrack this morning. there is something very refreshing about indian music first thing in the morning.
8:41 a.m. - September 29, 2003
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