for years i had no relationship with my dad at all...unless you count he fact that he was my taxi-driver. now he emails me almost every day without fail and expects me to do the same. most days i have no new news to give him. most days he doesn't either but i still get the messages and sometimes they make me laugh. like this one: "todays news...mum went up town this afternoon to do a bit of shopping while i tried to stop a leak on the toilet". these are the daily fascinating facts that i get from him and the funny thing is that even when i was living in england i didn't know this much about their lives :)
i am wearing a very itchy sweater. it is made of wool and it shrunk quite drastically in the wash but it was my favourite sweater and i refuse to throw it away. the coolest guy cannot believe i am still wearing it in this miniscule state.
i've just got back from a pub lunch with sooz. i have a lot of respect for sooz which is not something i have for many people. i should definitely go out drinking with her more.
1:48 p.m. - January 03, 2003
i have plans for this year. this year i am going to do the following:
1) get my canadian drivers license. warning: for their own safety i suggest that all vancouverites keep off the roads until i complete this task.
2) learn to cook. at this very moment i have all the ingredients to make a very tasty batch of carrot and coriander soup waiting for me at home. i have decided to start small ie with one pan dishes, and work up from there. i also intend on having a bash at baking. we have finally got around to getting some home insurance so its a good time to start.
3) get into shape. i have about 10 pounds of weight that i really don't need to be lugging around with me and i have a desire to feel fabulously fit and healthy before i get too old to do anything about it. this is going to be the easiest of my 3 goals because i shape up pretty quickly. as part of this plan i intend on completing the 10k sun run in less than an hour ie 10 minutes less than i did it last year.
12:07 p.m. - January 03, 2003
it was diz's 31st birthday on new years day. she's had a hangover on her birthday for as long as she can remember, as has everyone else she knows. it felt good to bring in the new year with old friends. i love living in vancouver but while we do have friends we don't have any that we have known for more than a year or so and that's not a long time on the friendship scale.
9:08 a.m. - January 03, 2003
songs about fucking - big black...i forgot to put it on my top ten list. i can't believe i forgot.
i had a cheerless walk into work thinking about how the number of things i've done which i'm proud of is seriously outweighed by the number of things i've done which i'm not proud of. i should have gone home immediately after my dad had "the accident", i should have gone home immediately after i found out my parents house had been burgled while my dad was in hospital having operation after operation and my mum was home alone scared, i should have had one drink and left the works christmas party before i made a total ass of myself, i should have kept my heart in reality and not wasted significant time and emotion in cyberland, i should have done a lot of things differently.
but i didn't.
most of the diaries i read here are written by people who are (or at least seem) stronger, more confident and more self assured (not to mention more interesting) than i am. i can't help thinking that if they can be this way so can i (confident not necessarily interesting). so i will start by saying "fuck it" to all the wrongs i've done. it's time to move on (up).
8:40 a.m. - January 03, 2003
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