i think i'm going to go insane. i have to wait until wednesday to take a test and it's killing me not knowing if i am or aren't pregnant. i realise the chances of it happening this quickly are slim but the fact that there is even a minute chance that i am is enough to keep my mind racing. if i could cross all my fingers and toes i would.
11:23 a.m. - June 19, 2006
i have no fucking patience. i want to see some results from my daily torture at the gym and i want to see them now. the worse thing is that i'm getting up at 6am, a time that didn't used to exist for me, i'm walking around like a zombie all day because i'm so tired* and i still feel bigger than i've ever felt before. i'm pretty sure i don't look particularly enormous but with my jeans strangling my thighs i definitely feel it. i just want to feel comfortable without buying a whole new wardrobe of muumuus. is that too much to ask?
i'm going to see the futureheads now. i just hope i don't fall asleep.
* last night i fell asleep in the bath. this is not unusual. what was unusual was the fact that when i woke up i was still holding my crossword and pen in the air, out of the water.
8:51 p.m. - June 15, 2006
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