i just want to get on with it. if i have the time, i think about things too much and nothing good comes of me thinking too much. we went to see the doctor on monday night. he recommended some pre-conception supplements, which i started taking today, gave us a rundown of how maternity care works in canada and basically said "go forth and multiply". technically we could start trying in a weeks time when i start ovulating (why does the word ovulate sound like something you should only talk about in hushed tones?) but mentally we still aren't quite ready. we've decided to wait another month. despite the fact that most couples take up to a year to conceive, we seem to be of the optimistic and slighty irrational opinion that just one hump will do the trick and so we can't possibly start trying this month. we do have rationale behind our decision. (at least that's what we are telling ourselves to cover the fact that we are both shit scared about completely changing our very happy lives). i want to get a bit fitter before i get pregnant (note i said fitter and not thinner). i put on an uncomfortable amount of weight in turkey and i wasn't even in good shape before i went. the daily pre-work gym sessions will hopefully start paying off soon (they bloody better do). i also want to have been taking the supplements for at least a few weeks before we conceive. my diet is pretty good (i'm trying very hard to do the whole "my body is a temple" thing right now...give or take a few glasses of wine) but there is always room for improvement. last but not least i think the cg needs a bit more time to get his head around this. it's ok for me, i'm continually surrounded by people who are pregnant or who have a baby glued to their breast. babies are a bit of a new concept to the cg. he wasn't even around to see his neice and new nephew as babies because we moved out here. he's getting better though. he even discussed names with me this morning which was cute. I think this whole thing would be easier if i just woke up one morning and said "whoops, i'm pregnant". the fact that i have time to prepare means that, by nature, i have to do so to the best of my ability. this sort of sucks.
10:00 a.m. - May 31, 2006
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