a few years ago, prior to the most recent outbreak of fighting, the coolest guy went to the ivory coast on business. he brought back some cool african masks for our apartment and he also brought back some stories. the story i always remember is the one about him sitting in the back of a taxi. the taxi had stopped for a red light when suddenly out of nowhere a guy stuck his hand into the barely open car window, which the coolest guy had rolled down a fraction to try and deal with the heat, and grabbed at his lap top case. a tug of war ensued while the driver sat there casually waiting for the lights to change. luckily when they did, the lap top was still in the car. call me a wuss but that would have scared the fuck out of me! anyway, the week after next the coolest guy is heading back for a second visit to africa. the good news is that he's not headed for the ivory coast but for the beautiful island of mauritius. i hope i get a post-card.
1:27 p.m. - February 28, 2003
i�m still upset about the movie last night. i fell asleep thinking about it and woke with the images still in my head. at one point i thought about leaving the movie theatre and pretending that the holocaust never happened. it was the point where the soldiers burst in on the family eating dinner and take the guy in the wheelchair and throw him off the balcony. it wasn�t the guy�s death that really got to me, it was the silence of the family as they watched this happened. it made me feel sick. it still makes me feel sick. and it scares me.
this is going to sound fucked and nonsensical but i think that if there was ever a third world war it would be a better war than the previous two because it will rely on bombs and mass weaponry. in my mind being killed by a bomb would be better than being killed by a person standing in front of me with a gun because i can�t handle the idea that one human being could do that to another when they can look into their eyes.
8:54 a.m. - February 28, 2003
i wanted to scream and cry and smash things into little pieces and there were moments when i even wanted to kill. i left the movie theatre with a thumping headache from holding back the tears and the anger. if you haven't seen the pianist you should go see it. everyone should see it. nothing like that should ever happen again. ever.
i hate my naivity but sometimes its the only thing that gives me hope.
12:48 a.m. - February 28, 2003
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