i can't remember the last time i went to bed truly upset. maybe it's because it's a new year and i want to start it off with my head straight about everything or maybe i'm just hormonal but last night i just lay there worrying about what we are going to do with our future. the worry is always about the same thing - it's about making the right decision for us and for our family. basically it's about whether we should stay in England or move back to Canada. we spent so long in Canada trying to make our minds up about coming back to the UK. i thought we would be fine once we got here but we aren't. we have made lots of good new friends, we have found a lovely place to live but we still aren't settled. yesterday i spent half the day checking out houses in port moody. there are some gorgeous places in heritage mountains/heritage woods with wonderful views, woodland surroundings, nice local school that we could actually walk to etc. we could take Georgia snowboarding, hiking, biking. we could give her more financially than we could in England. we could live in a nicer neighbourhood. we would also be taking her away from her family and that's the problem. that's the issue that we can't resolve, can't find a way around. that's what kept me up last night. do we give her a better life or do we give her a family. if anyone has any advice or anything to say on this matter i would love to hear it. this is driving me threatening to drive me insane.
10:41 a.m. - January 02, 2009
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