for a while there things were seriously shakey. we lost focus and this just added to the stress and sadness we were already dealing with. we are still far from healed (yesterday a colleague brought her brand new baby girl into work and when she left i sat at my desk and cried) but there is definitely more than a glint of light at the end of the tunnel. we've finally started to make some decisions about the future and, more importantly, we've started to put our plans into motion. we called our estate agent yesterday and we have been busy getting the apartment ready for sale. the cg told his boss that we are moving back to england, which is a big, big step forward. we've also started selling some of our stuff, the stuff we don't need to stage the apartment for sale. our current plan, depending on when we sell our place, is to rent for a few months before making the move home. we are considering a summer move and plan to do the two week rockies trip we've been talking about for the last 3 years before we fly home from calgary. the decision about where to go once we get home has probably been the most difficult one. the cg's idea of bliss is moving back to london. i didn't want to move there the first time and i want it even less now, mainly because of housing prices but also because i don't think it's the best place to bring up a child (unless you have serious money and, alas, we don't) and i'm still assuming that we will, even if eventually, have a child. when we first started thinking about where to go, about a year ago, the compromise choice of location was "london on sea" i.e. brighton where we could find a 2 bed apartment for about 350k (pounds). i then moved our thoughts to the north, to york, where for the same price we could get a decent 4 bed house in a nice area. After that we headed west to bristol and then east to cambridge. finally, a few days ago we found ourselves full-circle and looking at brighton again. it's not cheap, we would be looking at apartments rather than houses but now that i'm no longer pregnant i think it might work for us in the short term. the cg's family is pretty close by, london is only a 50 minutes train journey and, when we want to travel (when don't we?) gatwick airport is a short car ride away. plus it has an M & S and pizza express so i'm bound to be happy there.
i don't know how things are going to work out but at least now we have a plan and a life to look forward to and that makes me happy.
2:39 p.m. - January 13, 2007
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