i'm re-reading brave new world. i first read it in my mid teens and don't remember how it ends. i feel a little too much like bernard. and a little too little like the rest of society. i just honestly can't see the point of most things. i don't mean that in a teen angst/woe is me kind of way. i just can't quite work out what i'm supposed to be doing here. and i can't figure out why every one else seems to be perfectly happy buying large houses and having babies and comparing diamond ring sizes and wearing hats for weddings. it's not that i'm unhappy. just that i'm not happy doing the things that seem to make other people happy. this is confusing. i'm confusing myself and probably you too. it just seems really dumb that i have to keep going to work every day and cleaning my apartment and spending money on stuff. i won't even pretend that i'm not going to keep on faking it because faking it is something i think i'm pretty good at. am i the only one faking it though?
9:03 p.m. - May 30, 2005
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