the girls came over and we nibbled and drank and somewhere in the conversation we talked about how we would feel if our men cheated on us. i said that i would prefer to find out that the CG had been with a prostitute than he was seeing another woman and taking her out for dinner etc. then we drank and nibbled some more and i forgot the conversation.
it was late when i fell asleep. i had a dream that the CG was cheating on me. she was a prostitute but he was seeing her regularly. everyone knew but me. when i found out i felt humiliated. i couldn't believe it was true. in front of the other woman and her friends i desperately told him i didn't care that he had been unfaithful and i wanted to be with him anyway. he didn't seem to care whether we stayed together or not. i woke up with my heart aching. i watched him sleeping peacefully next to me but it was a long time before i could let the dream go.
8:55 p.m. - May 01, 2004
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