i keep trying to buy christmas cards but everytime i go into a store and start looking at them i end up getting upset because i know i won't be seeing my family until at least next summer.
my sister has a good job. she owns a four bedroom/three bathroom house. as if this wasn't big enough for a single person she had a conservatory built on the back of the house for which she bought a third dining table and a second couch with armchairs. her wardrobes are overflowing with clothes and shoes just as her fridge is overflowing with champagne. she doesn't live in this four bedroom/three bathroom house, she just visits it every few weekends for a night or so. she lives in a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment in another part of the country which is paid for by the company she works for. they also paid for her sexy silver convertible car. she has a wardrobe full of clothes and shoes in her apartment plus a whole lot more champage.
i've often wondered why she spent so much money on stuff she doesn't really need (she had about 30 pairs of jeans in her house when i was visiting earlier this year..i know because i couldn't resist counting). tonight i realised why. its because she was lonely. spending money doesn't make you feel less alone but it can make you feel better about it. we all spend so much money on things we don't need. i bought a top on the way home. i didn't want to go home to an empty apartment, so i bought a top. i feel kind of bad that i needed to spend money to feel better..particularly since i felt much better after watching particularly good episodes of buffy and angel. losing yourself in tv is not something i'm going to recommend but its a lot cheaper than buying stuff. as for my sister. i don't think she's quite as lonely as she used to be. maybe this means she won't spend so much (which would be good because i doubt she has the room for more stuff).
8:59 p.m. - November 13, 2003
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