if i was religious i would think that maybe i have a guardian angel. since i'm not i have to assume that i've been blessed with a lucky life.
last night i couldn't sleep. i tossed and turned in bed and when i did occasionally close my eyes and doze off i had terrible dreams. the last dream i had was about my mother dying (maybe because i watched the most excellent movie "igby goes down" the other night). i woke in tears, overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow that, by moving an ocean away from her, i had not spent as much time with her as i could. anyway, after a couple of hours of drinking tea and feeling like hell the phone rang. the coolest guy answered and within minutes his face had lit up with happiness. it was his brother. his brother has proposed to his long term girlfriend. and. we will have an almighty excuse for finding the funds to go home in the fall when they are to be married. so i no longer have to make a decision about not visiting my family this year. i will be seeing them and i can't wait.
9:59 a.m. - February 16, 2003
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