it's funny how i only come here when i've got something to bitch about but the only things i have to bitch about any more are the topics that i don't feel right discussing here.
in my own little world, my marriage, my role as a mother and my home, things are as perfect as i could wish them to be but unfortunately it's not possible to live in that world all the time. i need to learn not to give a shit. i need to get over it when things get messy and uncomfortable. i need to just suck it up and just get on with things. i probably need a bit of therapy too but that seems too much like cheating to me.
4:12 p.m. - June 09, 2010
a couple of years ago i wrote 3 words on 3 big pieces of paper and stuck them on my (our) bedroom wall. the words were get, over and it.
10:01 p.m. - June 08, 2010
i'm feeling a bit iffy right now. i'm having one of those moments where i'm unsure about where (and who) i'm supposed to be. it wasn't easy moving to canada. people were friendly but it took forever to get close to fitting in and to be honest i never really felt like we did. now we are back and i'm not sure i feel like we fit in here anymore. we were away so long and we've moved back to a place where we are just as much strangers as when we moved to Vancouver. i have found it easier to talk to people here but making deeper relationships at our age was always going to be difficult. the cg and i are not the most outgoing people. i feel bad about that. i also feel bad about my driving inabilities. i worry that both these things will affect G somewhere down the line. the big problem is that i'm a perfectionist and things are never going to be perfect and i'm always going to be annoyed by that.
9:48 p.m. - March 02, 2010
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