at about 3.30am this morning i decided that i had got a urine infection. don't ask me why i couldn't have done this self-diagnosis the night before or in the morning. things just seem to become clear and therefore worrying in the middle of the night for me. i called the midwife unit when i woke up and she told me to make an appointment to see the doctor asap. i called the doctor who told me to bring in a sample asap. and less than a couple of hours later the surgery called to confirm my pre-dawn diagnosis. this wouldn't be such a big deal except that there have been issues with all the samples i have given my various midwifes throughout the pregnancy, and therefore i've never been tested for a urine infection so who knows how long i've had it and how serious it is. i'm seeing the doctor later and then i'm visiting the midwife unit to check on the baby. being pregnant is really rather time-consuming and stressful - much like having responsibility for a baby i suppose. the cg keeps telling me everything will be ok and it probably will but i can't help thinking that i thought everything was ok the christmas before last when i had the miscarriage. i realise that this is not a logical thought process but something changed when i lost the baby. whatever happened i used to believe that everything would always turn out ok, and while i still consider myself a positive person, i now know that sometimes it doesn't.
12:05 p.m. - March 27, 2008
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