i had my second antenatal class today. it was a ladies only session and we were encouraged to talk about our feelings regarding labour. before we started talking we were asked to write down some words which came to mind. i was the last person to talk but the first person to have absolutely no negative issues regarding labour. either i'm incredibly brave (yeah right!) or incredibly naive but at this stage i'm the only one in the group that isn't scared shitless of the pain and the lack of dignity and the loss of control. the truth is that i'm not really worried about the labour because when i had my missed miscarriage, and before i had the D & C operation, they gave me meds to simulate contractions and it was fucking awful. the pain was excruciating, beyond anything i had ever had to endure, and i know it was probably nothing to what it feels like to give birth but i got through that and i can't imagine that i won't get through this. at least with this i get something good at the end. to be honest my biggest concern is what is going to happen after the baby is born when the cg has to leave for the night and i am alone and tired and suddenly find myself with sole responsibility for the baby. what if i don't know what to do?
7:57 p.m. - March 10, 2008
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