i left home for university at 18. i lived in a dorm room for a year, then i moved into a house with 3 friends and then two years after that i moved in with the cg. i've lived with him for 13/14 years. i have never lived alone. it's been a week since the cg went away on business and the novelty of having the apartment to myself has well and truly worn off.
3:23 p.m. - February 18, 2005
a noise woke me last night. my first thought was "is there a threat?". the answer appeared to be "no". my second thought was "but what would i do if there was a threat and i was assaulted". the answer was "ring 911". my third thought was "what would the police do?". the answer was "they would come, ask me questions, get medical help if it was needed and suggest i call a close friend or family member". these thoughts all occured in a split second in my semi-lucent state and once my thought process had finished i started to fall back to sleep. then i suddenly realised something: i have no one to call. i began to go through a list of people i know and it occured to me that although i have no problem finding someone to do dinner/drinks/lunch with, i don't have a particularly close relationship with anyone other than the cg. with most friends we email or call each other at work to make social arrangements so i don't know their home phone number or their home address. also, some people live with partners whose surnames i can't remember or never though to ask so i couldn't even find their number in the directory. this really freaked me out.
today i met dee for one of our regular lunch dates. the first thing i did was make her write down her address and home phone number in my pocket diary. "just in case i get assaulted while the cg is away on business" i told her.
9:59 p.m. - February 17, 2005
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