self pity is a very unattractive quality. talking of unattractive, i paid $165 to have my hair cut and coloured the other day. only one person has mentioned it and they said "so do you like your hair then?". hmmm.
time without a stereo really makes you appreciate it when you get it back. our speakers sound phenomenal. its like having teenage fanclub in the living room without the lack of gear space. on the subject of music, i should mention that our designer gays have got us goth gig tickets. i wonder if i can convince the CG to wear eyeliner :) did i mention that i'm going to whistler for a long weekend in about 5 minutes. the sun is shining, our boards are waxed and and we are staying at the delta suites for 2 nights. poor poor me.
11:12 a.m. - March 19, 2004
so i've been totally spazzing for the last couple of days about the whole job thing. no one can worry about things like i can. with the minimum of effort, i can take small insignificant things and fashion them into a full blown crisis. unfortunately the job thing doesn't feel insignificant so the anxiety is super sized. i don't know what the fuck is going on, i don't know what the fuck i want (other than not to be spazzing) and i don't know what the fuck other people want/expect from me. why can't i just be one of those oblivious people who aren't aware enough to worry. that would be nice about now. and it wouldn't harm to not think i'm completely fucking useless all the time!
so after work i met up with "the girls" (minus dee dee because she had to work late) for dinner. it was good. it didn't take my mind off things but it did remind me that not everything is bad.
someone slap me please.
8:26 a.m. - March 19, 2004
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