if i go to hell, and hey who knows, then i'm pretty sure my eternity will be spent making up books of documents with the binding machine i now have on my desk. the binding machine is evil. i punch the little holes. i slide the paper onto the comb. i take the freshly bound book off the machine. or rather thats what i would do if the damn thing didn't hold onto the booklet for all that's its worth (and after looking for a replacement one in the stationery catalogue i realise that its worth quite a lot). i pull and i tug and i curse and my back aches more and more but the machine still won't let go. then i completely lose my temper and rip the document and the machine apart. then i sit and thread the combs into the little holes by hand. i have done this about 19 times so far. only another 21 to go. it was the PB's last day at work today. she left early. i should have begged her to take me with her.
2:35 p.m. - October 10, 2003
i did whipped carrots and parsnips and baked sole for dinner. it was good. then we watched a program on vietnam where the meals included "cock and balls", monkey brains, pigs uterus, cobra and water buffalo heart. we leave for ho chi minh in just over a months time. i think i am going to have to broaden my view of what is good. on the other hand i could do with losing a bit of weight.
7:55 p.m. - October 09, 2003
now that my sex drive is at a perfectly manageable level my relationships with men are much more comfortable. my relationships with women, however, still require some attention. since i left high school, i haven't had a lot of female friends. i had a few good room-mates in college but they weren't lifers. in fact the CG was probably my closest friend in college because the day that my ex beat me up he was the one who sat in the middle of a bush with me at a party and supplied me with beer (of course he probably just wanted to get into my knickers but thats not the point). anyway, i've always had a slight distrust of most women. my reasoning for this has been that most women bitch about other women behind their backs and therefore i can only assume that they are bitching about me behind mine. last night, however, i realised something. the PB and I did gossip about someone else (or rather her dead beat boyfriend) but the truth is that we both really care about this person and none of the stuff we said about her was malicious. gossip is just something women do to pass the time. its generally harmless and doesn't in any way detract from the friendship. with this in mind i think that i'm ready to put more effort into my relationships with the females i currently have in my life.
10:45 a.m. - October 09, 2003
i am so full of the idea that every job my boss gives me comes with vague, incoherent instructions that i actually made an ass of myself this morning and asked him to clarify something that was perfectly clear. of course 10 minutes later i got a confused call from a nice office assistant across town, on the aforementioned matter, proving that a) i was right about his lack of cogent instructions and b) that we are both asses.
9:34 a.m. - October 09, 2003
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