my boss had arranged for my team to go for a "team lunch" today. at 11.30am i went into her office and told her that i felt like crap because i'd had fuck all sleep and felt like i was being torn apart from the inside and therefore wouldn't be going with them. despite my insistance that they go without me, she immediately rounded up my team and told them that i had period pains and the lunch would thus be cancelled! within 5 minutes someone from another department had heard about my "pain" and settled themselves in my spare office chair to tell me all about their periods and how how much they suffered with cramps. when i eventually escaped to the kitchen i was acosted by the receptionist who had heard from someone else that something was wrong with me and wanted to know if i was ok and if there was anything she could do. i thanked her politely and then came back to my office to hide from all the well wishers. the thing is, i do feel like crap but i don't necessarily need to discuss it with every single person in my company. i don't want to have to say "well no i'm not on the pill right now but i will be starting it again on sunday". and "i haven't been on the pill for a while because i went slighty mad and had to take anti-depressants to keep me from going under" and "please fuck off and leave me alone so i can deal with my suffering in peace". you know i'm thinking that maybe i should have just gone out for lunch with the team. free food and no hassle might just have been the easier option!
1:46 p.m. - December 18, 2002
"you better tell me now if you want children because otherwise i am going to rip out my child bearing insides because that would have to be less painful than the pain i'm in right now!" its not the most eloquent email i've ever sent to someone but it was definitely from the heart. my period arrived at 4.30am accompanied by intense stabbing pains. at 5.30am i was lying on the couch with a hot water bottle on my stomach desperate for the relief of sleep but unable to go back to bed for fear of waking the coolest guy and making him suffer too.
despite the fact that i was pacing the apartment in the early hours of the morning and despite the fact that from our 23rd floor apartment we have an unhindered view into many of the apartment windows, i did not see a woman being murdered in the building round the corner from where we live, nor the guy who murdered her being taken away. i did however see the news report on the tv when i turned it on at about 7.30am and then saw the news reporter in the flesh (so to speak) plus 2 police cars and a bunch of news vans, when i walked to work. we actually looked at an apartment in that building when we were shopping for the condo we now own. we didn't really like it all that much though. the news coverage says "A man has been taken into custody after a woman's body was found inside an upscale Yaletown highrise", i guess that means our building is a "superior upscale yaletown highrise".
10:43 a.m. - December 18, 2002
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